25.365 - Old Habits

I am notoriously bad at sticking to things. Any of you who have been following my 365 may have noticed this. At the same time, I am a creature of habit. This makes reforming my habits very difficult. I become very emotionally attached to the ritual of doing certain things, and this is (primarily) what makes quitting smoking very difficult.

I enjoy smoking. As a ritual. It is comforting in a weird, turn-about sort of way. I know it is awful for me. I say (time and time again) that I am under no delusion that smoking is good for me. In fact, I often cite, it is a rare smoker that pretends that smoking is--in any way--good for them. I am no different. I know it is horrible. It is a nasty, disgusting habit. I do not want to be a smoker for the rest of my life. That said, I attempted to quit smoking in 2009. We can see how well that went. For the most part, I was good. But, as is the case with most things, it is the exception, and not the rule, that matters. The fact that I smoked at all was not good. It meant that I had not truly quit. As is evidenced by this photo, I am still not quite over that compulsion.

I find that physically, at least, quitting smoking is not difficult. Emotionally, however, was a whole different ball game. I enjoy smoking. It is a highly social activity that has brought many things to my life. At the end of the day, though, that is not enough of a reason to hold on to the habit. Earlier tonight, when I was hanging out at Barefoot Coffee Roasters, a good friend of mine, Melissa, confessed that she had quit. Her reasons were not purely altruistic in the end--it turns out that the expense was one of her chief concerns. So, now that I feel like I have a bit of camaraderie in this endeavor, I make another attempt and chucking this habit for good. I thought a photo was in order for the occasion.

For those of you who have been championing this decision, this is for you. For those on whom I have made this decision very difficult, I apologize. And for the rest of you I say this, "It really is never too late." Go out and do the things that you want to do. Do what you know is best. You will always have someone to support you in the decision.

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All the commentary aside, I like this photo. It is not perfect, but I got what I wanted out of it. I had the perfect shot...before I realized that the card was not in the camera. So...this close second will have to do. :)