26.365 - Trek On!

On Friday Claire, Jess, Mike, Karen and I trekked up to Alum Rock (Rawk?) park to take photos. It was cold, but blessedly not rainy or muddy. It was full of sulfur water that is rumored to be safe to drink, but smells so absolutely disgusting that I can't imagine getting any closer to it, much less being forced to drink it as part of a elementary school field trip. All the same, we went, we smelled, and we photo-ed. It was awesome.

This is my pick for the 365 for several reasons.

First, I feel it sort of encapsulates the trip in some ways because when Claire mentioned that she wanted to go here, she attached a photo of one of these stone bridges in her message.

Secondly, it has stairs. You all have not yet been introduced to my obsession with staircases yet. I love staircases. When I took photo in college, I took hundreds upon hundreds of photos of staircases. I dragged my mother out for a staircase tour of San Francisco (which, incidentally, is a photo trip I would like to recreate, any takers?).

Third, I like it. And that is enough.

I have awesome friends. I think that they know this, but on the off chance that they do not...well, you guys rawk! :)

25.365 - Old Habits

I am notoriously bad at sticking to things. Any of you who have been following my 365 may have noticed this. At the same time, I am a creature of habit. This makes reforming my habits very difficult. I become very emotionally attached to the ritual of doing certain things, and this is (primarily) what makes quitting smoking very difficult.

I enjoy smoking. As a ritual. It is comforting in a weird, turn-about sort of way. I know it is awful for me. I say (time and time again) that I am under no delusion that smoking is good for me. In fact, I often cite, it is a rare smoker that pretends that smoking is--in any way--good for them. I am no different. I know it is horrible. It is a nasty, disgusting habit. I do not want to be a smoker for the rest of my life. That said, I attempted to quit smoking in 2009. We can see how well that went. For the most part, I was good. But, as is the case with most things, it is the exception, and not the rule, that matters. The fact that I smoked at all was not good. It meant that I had not truly quit. As is evidenced by this photo, I am still not quite over that compulsion.

I find that physically, at least, quitting smoking is not difficult. Emotionally, however, was a whole different ball game. I enjoy smoking. It is a highly social activity that has brought many things to my life. At the end of the day, though, that is not enough of a reason to hold on to the habit. Earlier tonight, when I was hanging out at Barefoot Coffee Roasters, a good friend of mine, Melissa, confessed that she had quit. Her reasons were not purely altruistic in the end--it turns out that the expense was one of her chief concerns. So, now that I feel like I have a bit of camaraderie in this endeavor, I make another attempt and chucking this habit for good. I thought a photo was in order for the occasion.

For those of you who have been championing this decision, this is for you. For those on whom I have made this decision very difficult, I apologize. And for the rest of you I say this, "It really is never too late." Go out and do the things that you want to do. Do what you know is best. You will always have someone to support you in the decision.

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All the commentary aside, I like this photo. It is not perfect, but I got what I wanted out of it. I had the perfect shot...before I realized that the card was not in the camera. So...this close second will have to do. :)

24.365 - Perspective

I have just regaled you all with the fact that I am terrified of self portraits. In truth, I'm really quite afraid of the camera lens in general. I know what I see, and I'm not so sure I want the rest of the world to see it too. If I point the camera at myself, I'm looking through a lens, at myself, and then posting it out into the world for everyone to see. All of those things that I am so terrified of are alarmingly obvious to me. What if they are to everyone else? What then?

All the same, here we are. I have pretty eyes. I like them a lot.

23.365 - Urges

This photo is from the 17th. It's two days late. I have no photo for yesterday. I'm really awful at this whole 365 thing, aren't I?

So...I've been completely terrible at this. And here's my attempt at explaining it.

First, I wanted to start branching out into self portraits. Only, there's a little hitch there. I'm TERRIFIED of self portraits. Absolutely terrified. Also, the whole self timer thing gets really old really quick. I REALLY ought to look into getting a remote shutter release.

Second, well...I've been lazy.

Third...there are no excuses. So, I'm back.

That said, I sometimes have an inexplicable urge to be upside down. Though I hadn't realized how difficult setting a self timer, running a few feet, and propping myself up into a bridge would be. You will notice that I didn't quite get the time to get my left hand back onto the floor back there. At least I was looking at the camera?

So...I meant to toss this into cs2 and edit it. But forgot. Then I uploaded it on accident...and by the time I realized what I had done, it had 10 views. Oops... Can't take it down now I guess. What's done is done.

22.365 - Vanity

Sometimes the real joy in doing a project like this (or, in truth, just having a blog) is the chance I am given to allow myself to be completely self-indulgent and flaunt it to the world. I had a shitty weekend, and I'm exhausted. Between being busy with family and friends and all of the work that entails by body went and decided it was going to get sick. By sick, of course, I don't mean just a cough or a sore throat. I mean full blown, laid up in bed, fever kind of sick. I was miserable. And still am. The really shitty thing about being sick like that is that I miss out on everything and whine and cry like a little baby.

So, now that I'm back to the world at large, here we go again. I debated attempting self portraits, but I'm not sure I'm brave enough for that yet. So, attempt number one. I ended today in great need of a hug. Luckily, I have a live-in-hugger. It's quite convenient you see. Any time I want a hug I can turn to Sean and say, "Hey, you! Hug me!" So, that's where I'm at today. Figured I'd toss in a bit of skin while I was at it. He's got pretty skin. :)

21.365 - Patti Smith

My Grandmother is quite the woman. She was delighted recently to have been called "fabulous". She truly is. I generally describe her as a "hoot", because...well...she IS. She's always so happy and likes to spread that joy with everyone around her. She tells stories as though everyone else in the world partakes of them like water. She loves coffee and the color red. She's also got a rather amusing obsession with cats and religions.

I love my Grandmother. She gives in the expectation that others will take and makes it nearly impossible to say no.

My Grandmother is sick. It makes me so sad to watch age take over her life one day at a time. She will be 85 this August. She was left outside the Salvation Army when she was just a baby and adopted by her aunt not long thereafter. She's lived quite the life and has stories to tell to anyone and everyone. It's difficult for anyone to dislike her. I love my Grandmother.