Without Reflection

It's a dog eat dog world
Which is just fine for a bitch like her
Her heart put together from the shattered pieces she has taken from others
Love letters and sweet words that she gives you will be whittled in your skin
Blood drawn from the shards of your own heart
Scars for you to show to others
Proof that she loved you enough to do this to you
Once upon a time
When letters are sent with no postage attached they never reach their destination
A life is spent tiptoeing around the pieces of another's wreckage
They will cut into my skin the same as yours
I may not have the same scars to show but I have taken the time to put those pieces back together again
It wasn't my heart
The heart of another that never belonged to me that i pieced together
The heart she cared enough to break, but not enough to fix
The heart is still hers and it will never be mine
The organ was whole until her love acted as a hammer does on glass
The blood spilled in the task of reconstructing a life that will never again take its original form
Bandages cannot do what they should
The blood meant to keep me alive seeps from under the skin that was supposed to keep it in
Torn edges of paper that used to say more
Words carved into skin cannot be erased
Skin that used to belong to me
Skin that belongs to you, and so then it belongs to her
All you have belongs to her, and I am yours
These stories were not written for me
I did not write them
They are another's words on my lips and somehow I can breathe only blood
Teach me to unfurl the petals of the blossom yet to be
Cast a shadow of the life I desire so that i may see it once before this blood is gone
Before the words run out
How does one heal a wound that refuses to feel pain?
Why does the dawn come dark as night?
The sun refuses to shed light on this place and so we have no place to see
he speaks of her so reverently
Her portriat stands proud on his mantle like the Virgin Mother, looking over all that we do
There is no escaping her divine works now
What does that make me?
I have no right to cast the stone
She came before me, and will always be first in your mind
I built your love again and the image of her remains
For just today I will speak with you
In your own tongue and on your terms
Forget not that I am not of this place
I have no home here, and there is not one to be built for me
I can play the part you see
Walk her walk
Talk her lilt
Sing her songs
But you cannot be fooled
So I rebuild the vestiges of the heart she broke
There is one piece she took away with her
I give you a piece of mine so that yours might be whole
A child looks through the chink of my own heart
She sees only the image of you
Why must she have inherited your eyes?

--S.Granvold